We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Wheatus 2020

by Wheatus

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $14.99 USD  or more

     

1.
You, you think yer such a bad ass You think yer such a rough neck But I saw you outside eating truffles with yer mom on the patio I think it's really sad though And tell yer girl ta quit buggin' me 'Cause I saw her outside suckin' dick In the bathroom of the bus of the Iron Maiden cover band When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in I'm gonna win When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in I'm gonna win Me, I'm just another gringo A bitter jalapeño But I gets more mantequilla in a week Than your bitch ass gets in a lifetime You're steppin' on a land mine You’re gonna shoot yer eye out I'm thinkin' what in the Sam Ham Hill Is goin' on wit yer moms in the clogs and the skirt, Wouldn't fuck 'er for my country with a flag on her face and a stolen dick When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in I'm gonna win When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in I'm gonna win When your pencil neck breaks When your bird chest caves in... You, you think yer still a bad ass You think yer still a rough neck Well let's take this outside
2.
When I look at your face, I see dirt All the sunshine you blow up my ass starts to hurt And I don’t really mind if I’m nothing in your eyes It’s no surprise to me There’s a rocket I built It’s under my kilt It’s coming to blow you away I was a jerk I did the work for somebody else’s dream I took the chance I lost my pants in somebody else’s dream tonight Now you’re calling me up to get paid And if you don’t get paid then you’ll never get laid But I really don’t have any money I say goodbye, and you’ll have to depend on your size Cause the thing that I built It’s ripping my kilt It’s coming to blow you away I was a jerk I did the work for somebody else’s dream I took the chance I lost my pants in somebody else’s dream tonight Now I think that I’m going to bed As the image of you and your crap leaves my head Cause at T-minus 20 tomorrow, rocket flies And it doesn’t depend on the size Cause the thing that I built It’s ripping my kilt It’s coming to blow you away I was a jerk I did the work for somebody else’s dream I took the chance I lost my pants in somebody else’s dream tonight
3.
Her name is Noelle I have a dream about her She rings my bell I got gym class in half an hour Oh how she rocks In Keds and tube socks But she doesn’t know who I am And she doesn’t give a damn about me ‘Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me Ooh Her boyfriend’s a dick He brings a gun to school And he’d simply kick My ass if he knew the truth He lives on my block And he drives an IROC But he doesn’t know who I am And he doesn’t give a damn about me ‘Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me Ooh Oh yeah, dirtbag No, she doesn’t know what she’s missing Oh yeah, dirtbag No, she doesn’t know what she’s missing Man, I feel like mold It’s prom night and I am lonely Lo and behold She’s walking over to me This must be fake My lip starts to shake How does she know who I am? And why does she give a damn about me? I’ve got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby Come with me Friday, don’t say maybe I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you Ooh Oh yeah, dirtbag No, she doesn’t know what she’s missing Oh yeah, dirtbag No, she doesn’t know what she’s missing
4.
She’s a pretty girl She doesn’t know it’s over She doesn’t know that my plane leaves tomorrow She’s ringing in my ear She redefines the night call Hang up the phone again, turn off the ringer Heaven only knows what she wants from me But I won’t wait around enough to see ‘Cuz I’m running away from your arms tonight And you won’t let me go without a fight And I can honestly say right now You don’t understand me You don’t understand me Oh no, no no no So we fight again And the night turns into sunrise I know getting up for work will be a hell hole She’s like the mission man She’s screaming about Jesus And maybe when I’m deaf, then she can save me Heaven only knows what she wants from me But I won’t wait around enough to see ‘Cuz I’m running away from your arms tonight And you won’t let me go without a fight And I can honestly say right now You don’t understand me And don’t call me Stanley Oh no, no no no Now she wants to know If I ever really loved her If I ever meant that shit about a wedding I said that months ago I can’t believe that she remembers And now the secret’s out that I’m an asshole And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out And now the secret’s out
5.
Cough up the rent Mr. Kent And don’t try to blame it on the government Your wife is a clown, she’s in town She gets with some other guy Are you gonna finish your fat? Cause I’d like to give it to my kitty cat That big fat look is coming back You skinny people are screwed And I know you’re right Yeah I know it’s time Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Here we go again Now I know what you’re like And I don’t think I like it The newspaper says to get bent Man I’d like to say that to the President He got what the hell in the house I guess he already did He looks like he finished his fat He then turned around and ate my kitty cat He coughed up a hairball or two And laughed his way to the bank And I know he’s right Yeah I know it’s time Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Here we go again Now I know what you’re like And I don’t think I like it Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Here we go again Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another, another, another Here we go again Here we go again Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another, another, another Here we go again Here we go again Here we go again Another hump ‘em dump ‘em situation Here we go again Another, another, another Here we go again Here we go again Now I know what you’re like And I don’t think I like it
6.
Leroy (2020) 03:21
He's got the dirtiest shoes that I ever seen Chew on a blunt, wipe his butt with a magazine Smokin' his crack, wash it down with some gasoline Still he push the button, E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don't break it. It took too damn long to make it." Leroy is my mojo man Leroy is my mojo man He come, he take me by the hand 'Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight, alright! He's just a pimp with a limp and some Vaseline He told me to "Look, over there!", stole my nectarine Said, "Don't turn your back on me black, I'm a sex machine" Still he push the button, E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don't break it. It took too damn long to make it." Leroy is my mojo man Leroy is my mojo man He come, he take me by the hand 'Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight, alright! Shake it, don't break it, it took too damn long to make it Shake it, don't break it, it took too damn long to make it Shake it, don't break it, it took too damn long to make it Shake it, don't break it, it took too damn long to make it Leroy is my mojo man Leroy is my mojo man He come, he take me by the hand ‘Cause Leroy is my mojo man Leroy is my mojo man Leroy is my mojo man He come, he take me by the hand ‘Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight, alright!
7.
Man I think it’s just a little sleazy Said you was like butter but you’re cheesy Treat me like I’m spinner bait You can’t wait Go fish off some other dock Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Gonna have to prove it to me If I don’t call you back, well then your head spins If I told you what I think, you’d shit your linens It’s just another interview, nothing new They don’t even know my name Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Gonna have to prove it to me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me Hey Mr. Brown, don’t have a cow Just compensate me You’re gonna have to prove it to me
8.
This is a story 'bout a friend of mine He is abnormally intelligent He could bust a fatty rhyme Even when he got up in the blunt But that all changed when the girl who he lives with came to town He let her take him away from me and so I had to ask him how That's when he said, “She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! She even knows when I pee”! I think eventually she'll make a meal out of me Because her love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without Her love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without One of these days, I swear I'm gonna get out ‘Til then your love is a mutt from hell that a can't live without, oh That’s why I’m talking to you now Sarah lives with Bradley now I guess that is how she wants her shit He needed a place to stay, so it's of mutual benefit And I stopped by on my way to Pomona yesterday She sat down and spilled her guts to me That's when I thought she would tell me she's gay Instead she said, “He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He even knows when I pee!” I think eventually he'll make a meal outta me Because his love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without His love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without One of these days, I swear I'm gonna get out ‘Til then your love is a mutt from hell that a can't live without, oh Talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' to Talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' to That's why I'm talkin' talkin’ talkin’ to you now Because your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without Your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without One of these days, I swear I'm gonna get out ‘Til then your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without, oh That's why I'm talkin' to you now That's why I'm talkin' to you now That's why I'm talkin' to you now That's why I'm talkin' to you now
9.
I don’t get to see you that often But here we are again and it’s Christmas time When you flirt you are relentless How I love to be defenseless Yeah once again you corner me And once again I do believe That I’d never write a song about you All the same, you play your game ‘til your boyfriend looks over No I’d never write a song about you Because it shows, I think he knows that you’ve taken me over again Roll it back again to the beginning You’re all up in my grill and it’s Halloween You think you’re cute without your costume And you caught me in the front room You say you don’t like my attitude Weill I bet your boyfriend thinks it’s rude And I’d never write a song about you All the same, you play your game ‘til your boyfriend looks over No I’d never write a song about you Because it shows, I think he knows that you’ve taken me over again You don’t seem to like my new girlfriend And now it’s not the same, ‘cause I won’t play your game Yeah you’ll say it doesn’t matter, but your hold on me is shattered So once again you corner me, and once again I do believe That I’d never write a song about you Never write a song about you Never write a song about you Never write a song about you ‘Cause I’d never write a song about you All the same, you play your game ‘til your boyfriend looks over No I’d never write a song about you Because it shows, I think he knows that you’ve taken me over again
10.
I am a wannabe, you'd better be careful around me I come from far away where Mustang dreams are made And we are fashioned in the image of The Dons who have come before us We all kiss the rings of sand like our fathers told us 'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack Better go back to far away Like a lemon pie a-la-mode, my nine is easy to load All hail Jericho, Turnpike Tech, that's where I go To learn the things about the universe I'll need so I can build a stampede Because I'm all up in your face again, I'm all up in your face 'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack Better go back to far away A wannabe gangstar, a victim of the chromosome prankster I thanks ya, I sit back in my chair to contemplate my hair (oh damn, I reek of cologne) Yeah but yo, I'm looking snappy, I'm nappy, I'm crappy Got jimmy hats from Pappy, so now I'm trigger-happy (Girl, did he just rhyme "nappy" with "crappy"?) Yeah, so? You girlies wanna get with this nit-wit, got Cheez Whiz or not? Then Imma have to blow up your mailbox, biatch Or toilet-paper your front yard Show the cops my suburbs card They got to let me go, 'cause they know that I'm hard It's the deal, it's for real You better listen what I'm tellin' ya 'Cause I'm a wannabe gangster I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack I'm a wannabe gangstar, you better go back to Commack Better go back to far Better go back to far away
11.
Mope 03:38
I feel I've wrapped a web around myself I feel like only hope is on the shelf This existential vacuum is my bedroom Like that is where I'll sit and watch the clouds loom No I can't remember when Everything was fine with friends If I knew that you would stick here with me I would let you in But I won't I'll sit around the house and I'll mope Pick up the phone and order some food And then sit back and eat my feelings Like a dope I copy every line that they wrote The tie around my neck is a rope And I won't ever know the meaning Promise that it's gonna be ok And I should just get up and find a way But you have never done something like this before So how the fuck would you know what it's good for? No you can't remember when I was ever fine with friends If I knew that you could stick here with me I would let you in But you won't You'll sit around the house and you'll mope Pick up the phone and order some food And then sit back and eat your feelings Fuckin' choke I'll tear up every rule that you wrote And throw ‘em all down into your moat Put on my sweats and play some guitar No! No I won't I'll sit around the house No I won't I'll sit around the house No I won't I'll sit around the house No I won't I'll sit around the house And I'll mope
12.
Semolina 03:50
Semolina lost her shoes She caught a beat down, she had a hell of a morning Semolina works at two, when she gets there, she'll feel alright Semolina lost her purse, she caught the bus to work Where she's a hell of a foreman Lays it down on the factory floor 'Til the time clock punches, she'll be fine If you forget about it If you're starting to doubt it You could forget about it 'Cause you're starting to doubt it You should forget about it 'Cause you're starting to doubt it Semolina shouts around in the drywall of The Oil Works Building All the neighbors know she's home and she's not alone She'll be up all night Cleaning up the dust of the fallout Back up and pack up and haul out You should forget about it If you're starting to doubt it You could forget about it When you're starting to doubt it If you forget about it 'Cause you're starting to doubt it You should forget about it If you're starting to doubt it One woman industrial revolution One woman industrial revolution One woman industrial revolution One woman industrial revolution Semolina lost her shoes She caught a beat down, she had a hell of a morning Semolina shouts abound, "This is home now, not The Oil Works Building" Semolina pushed it through She caught a beat down, she had a hell of a morning Semolina shouts abound "This is home now, not The Oil Works Building" (And you forget all about it) you forget all about it (If you're starting to doubt it) if she’s starting to doubt it She should forget about it (You can live without it) if she’s starting to doubt it She could forget about it (If you're starting to doubt it) if she’s starting to doubt it Would you forget about it? (And you forget about it) if you started to doubt it Could you forget about it? (If you're starting to doubt it) if you're starting to doubt it You should forget about it (You can live without it) if you started to doubt it We could forget about it (You can turn it around) if you're starting to doubt it Semolina, Semolina Semolina, Semolina Semolina, Semolina
13.
Spend another weekend in disaster I don’t mind being there but driving home, it makes me sad All of our plans they fell apart again Just like the time before, the time before, the time before the last Spend another weekend at my mom’s house I don’t mind driving home, but being there it makes me sad Dear Lizzy, tell me how it feels again ‘Cause I am immune to it and I forget remembering at all It’s just a temporary feeling This a temporary song Yeah Just like the time before, the time before, the time before Just like before the time, before the time, before the time before I knew the man Who hid in a tower Way too high in the sky And he fed the birds And he worried for hours Begging them never to fly In spinning gold Or blossoming flowers A promise is always a lie Once they were gone He raged at the power To which all the wingless are tied He had a temporary feeling They sang a temporary song Yeah This could have been our best of days This could have been our party time This could have been our best of days This could have been our party time This could have been our best days This could have been our party time This could have been our best of days This could be our party time This could have been our best of days, love This could be our party time This could have been our best of days This could be our party time
14.
People 02:57
Well sex machines and nectarines, we all must live together Hey tattoo high school principal, the weekend is for leather Binary wearing bifocals, bicycle for a 3b We didn't get to meet before, you didn't wanna know We were down, just like all type people I'll be 'round, if there's all type people I need all type people before I go insane Well no one likes a jerk, at work they're hiring another Inappropriate at happy hour, creepy bosses brother So stick around for benefits or disappoint your mother Then book another staycation and never ever leave When I'm down, I need all type people I'll be 'round, if there's all type people If I'm down I need all type people I'll be 'round, if there's all type people I need all type people before I go insane Are we all? Are we type? Are we any kind of people? We're all wrong Not alright Whatsoever type of people Are we all? Are we type? Are we any kind of people? We're all wrong Not alright Whatsoever type of people Learn it right Play it tight Be a better band of people
15.
Through 03:33
It’s been too long since you left your dark mark on my skin It still burns I kick myself every day for letting you in I never learn You’re such a creep, you’re such a bore I’m in too deep, can’t keep the score I lost this game so long ago But it’s true I’m through With you I’m on to you, I see through You misconstrue me Thinking that I’d never see your hulking false facade It won’t work on me because you see just what you want But now I’m done This trenchant theatre’s just too hard You’re still a creep, you’re still a bore I’m in too deep, can’t keep the score I lost this game so long ago But I’m through With you It’s true Time to move on Time to ship out Now I know what you’re about You’re such a creep, you’re such a bore I’m in too deep I see through you And it’s true I’m through It’s true I’m through It’s true I’m through
16.
I'm awaiting Satan's orders And he's dragged me through the mud tonight If I thought about it sooner I'd complain as much as he does But I wait instead Little you in my head Like the fireflies Refused to light the way We're awaiting Satan's orders Yeah I think we're headed out tonight For some Harry karaoke With some suicidal singers Wait instead Little you in my head Like the firefly Refused to light the way Like the time I caught that turtle Didn't know he was a dinosaur Had I thought about it sooner I would still have all my fingers We should wait instead Little you in your head Like the firefly Refused to light the way I refuse to light the way I refuse to light the way I refuse to light the way I refuse to light the way
17.
Straight from the barbershop To the emergency room I had to take the bus with Gus All the way through Dr. Spock, he said he's seen this before But not since Ratt came to town Go ‘round and ‘round He said, “There's nothin' I can do for you, boy. It's too late, too late. But my brother's an attorney if you're gonna press charges.” Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel I knew that I had to cut it Just buzz it off and say fuck it Party out back, vokuhila Get me the fuck out of here Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel In the sixth century A.D., Byzantine scholar Procopius wrote that some factions of young males wore their hair long at the back and cut it short over the forehead. This non-Roman style was termed the 'hunnic', or in our modern tongue, ‘hockey hair.’ By fiscal year 1987, 93 percent of young males grew their hair long only in the back and 97 percent listed the mullet as their hairstyle of choice. In calendar years 1988, 1989, 1990 and 91, more humans wore mullets than any other hairstyle, making the mullet the most proliferated aesthetic abomination of the last 1400 years. M-U-L-L-E-T Help me! Oh God! Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel I knew that I had to cut it Just buzz it off and say fuck it Party out back, vokuhila Get me the fuck out of here
18.
F.B.S.M. 03:44
I saw Wicked thirty times and I’m not ashamed of that In fact, I’ll go again as soon as I can But I’m too busy breakfast slammin’ Some strawberries with smoked salmon Pizza coffee by the gallon Black beans shootin’ out the can You know it’s true In these wrestling shoes You know it’s true I’ll be BCCing you You know it’s true Also, can I please use your nice shampoo? Like ten times more than anyone needs to? I drive a freeballin’ stress machine Through the cracks of your in-between I don’t care if you laugh at me ‘Cause it’s all that I’ve got in the end I love sleeping in my van Much better than a nice hotel I’ll drive a thousand miles by myself No, I don’t want any help Drive all day ‘cross Indiana Look! The Mighty Susquehanna Nah, nah nah nah You know it’s true Drink my vitamin D You know it’s true Just BBB being me You know it’s true And it’s easy It’s a 1 2 3 4 1 2 Then you gotta play it like a cupcake falling from a window I drive a freeballin’ stress machine Through the cracks of your in-between Gotta love if you laugh at me ‘Cause it’s all that I’ve got in the end Head lamp Ham hog Tone bowl Bullfrog Rain melt Dances S.W.A.T. vest Mantis Cube head Stonehenge Zicam Back-bends So much more that I’m forgetting Good thing I’m not in charge of weddings Stop. I am texting my whole band for a list of shit I do And yeah, they’re even making fun of me for this But guys, can we please get to work here? This is serious business. The trailer’s not gonna load itself. You know it’s true Have you seen my keepsake box? You know it’s true Tuck these pants into these socks You know it’s true I can spot a pregnant stick bug from a mile away Bet you can’t. Can. Yeah I’m a freeballin’ stress machine In the cracks of your in-between And I love when you laugh at me ‘Cause we’re all that we’ve got in the end How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me? We’re all that we’ve got in the end How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me? We’re all that we’ve got in the end How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me? We’re all that we’ve got in the end How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me? Uh. Ok guys, take lunch.
19.
Dead Again 02:55
I don't even know what she did She probably bought it from Sid She stumbles around on the ground Looking for earrings she found and lost again I can't be your friend I'm wondering when I get to begin again? Cuz I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she must be dead again Yeah I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she must be I must be out of my mind Why am I being so kind? Now we're face down in the sand Wishing I played in a band Like take me away, like bright sunny days Like met her in May Like may I forget her name Cuz I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she's must be again Yeah I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she must be Yeah I think she must be dead again Yeah I think she must be dead again Yeah I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she must be Yeah I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think she must be dead again Yeah I think she's probably dead again Yeah I think we must be
20.
Dark Day 05:05
Here we are Shot by stars And we both know it's my fault Where were you? Kidnapped too? Well I won't tell if you don't I hope it's not today I will remember I hope it's not today that you become my darkest day Here we three The ball roams free You always hurt the goalie The sun is warm I broke my arm Walk it off you baby I hope it's not today they will remember I hope it's not today that you become the darkest day The puppet on your patio You fell for it again, you know It works every time, he never sees the line The puppet on your patio Maybe it's a day he will remember Maybe it's the day that will become his darkest day Stole from you a radio I came up here to tell you so It was 1983 and I wasn't really me I took it from your car you see I hope it's not a day you can remember I hope it's not a day that you could not forgive me for

about

A fully re-recorded & reimagined version of our debut album, complete with TEN additional "lost songs," also newly recorded, from throughout the band's history.

credits

released December 1, 2023

Brendan B Brown - Guitars / Lead Vocals
Gabrielle Sterbenz - Backing Vocals
Joey Slater - Backing Vocals
Matthew Milligan - Electric & Upright Bass
Brandon Ticer - Keys & Synths
Leo Freire - Drums & Percussion
Madden Klass - Drums & Percussion
Phil Jimenez - Banjo, Harmonica, Accordion, Percussion

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Wheatus New York, New York

The original Teenage Dirtbags for 24 years and counting.

shows

contact / help

Contact Wheatus

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Wheatus, you may also like: